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Monday, September 19th, 2005
8:11 pm - grrr....
I am writing an article right now on fall and cyclical life. I was putzing the net, and decided to visit my livejournal. I have a bit of a short temper, and let me tell you, I came across a response that I followed back to the person's lj, and he wrote quite a well thought out piece about the inherent immorality of homosexuality. I don't care what he feels about anyone at all, especially little ole queer moi, but I do take issue with the formulation of his argument. I'll even give him kudos that he is very tolerant of everyone, and there was no vitrol to be found anywhere. It's nice that there are still some honest people left in the world. However, I do take issue with how the point was arrived at- basically, God says its wrong.

I'm a very spiritual person, but I always find it quite interesting when people try to speak for The Creator. I do not accept, nor understand how anyone can accept, that the Bible, or any other text, is the literal ineffable word of the Creator. All religious traditions use mythopoedia, oral or written, which seek in a symbolic way to understand the place of the human in creation. When taken at a literal level their true meaning becomes foggy, clear only to the one who interprets the text. Now, people will argue that the Torah was taken litterally, in that the Halacha (Law) was a litteral contract between God and the Jews. Each Jew had to fulfill the mitzvot because it was their end of the bargin. Most of those laws sought to separate the Jews from everyone else. Gender wasn't that big of an issue to the pagans when it came to love. Well not all pagans; despite the grumblings of fundementalists homosexuality was not tolerated at all by the ancient Egyptians nor the Romans. I feel that if one is going to espouse a particular ideology, it should be given more thought than, "God says in the Bible that it's wrong." What does it mean, and how do my beliefs affect those I share my life with?

My other gripe is that he puts all "sin" together in one basket,so homosexuality becomes akin to stealing et al. That's the part devoid of logic. I'll tell you my gay rolemodels- who have been together for almost as long as my parents- what's wrong with their relationship? What is so wrong with their relationship that it and others like it should be compared to all sorts of immoral and depraived things? Even for those who are not monogomous, whilst I fell nonmonogomy to be well... immoral, but I shan't discuss that here... It paints a picture that Gays and Lesbians are hollow, bleak, without hope unless they change. And change into what? To lie essentially, to placate a fearful populous that wants us to fulfill our miniscule reproductive and consumeristic roles... Whilst those were not his words, that's what I feel those of that argument want.

I will end with what I feel to be terribly important for people to grasp. Do not tell me how to live my life. You don't know me, you don't know what makes me tick, etc. I wouldn't do that to anyone... Each of us navigates life through the eyes of our cultures, our traditions, our psychology, and our relationship with the divine or lack thereof. Or as I've also said, I know how best to ruin my own life!

current mood: contemplative

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Saturday, September 17th, 2005
12:23 am - un soir beau
Well, I don't think anyone reads this thing but I shall update. I haven't heard from anyone in ages. Not that my life is the most riveting thing in the world, but you know... I miss the people I used to share my life with so much. I should probably email them, but you know, it's not like I've got much to say. Here's the synopsis of things-

You Can't Take It With You was absolutely amazing! I am so glad I had the opportunity to be in the show. To all those who missed it, it was amazing... Well most of it at least. We had one character who was our great liability- the guy dragged out his lines and embellished on the script. I have a problem with that- no one's perfect of course, but you know the author's words are sacrosanct. To create more is an affront to the author. It's basically saying that the author wasn't good enough. Other than that minor arse, it was so funny! I highly recommend to everyone to get the movie (it's an oldie- 1936 you can get it at netflix). It's about a wall street family marrying into the craziest bohemian family, and the anticks that ensue. The message is really good though- who cares what wall street thinks- life is short and at the end of the day did you enjoy it or were you miserable?

so I've become amazingly domesticated these days. it's my secret longing to settle down with the man of my dreams on a farm out in the middle of nowhere, and have our cool little eccentric enclave. I'm jonesing for it bad right now. I've made tons of pickles this year, and I've frozen the tomatoes already. I still have more tomatoes coming, but I'll wait until october to pull them out. I've decided I'm going to start home brewing too. I'm starting with a batch of cidre right now, and by halloween I want to make a pale ale... It's a hell of a lot of work, but I love it so much. Anyone know of a farm that needs a farm hand? It'll be a while before I get my own, and I'm sick and tired of the city. The house next door is so close I can hear my neighbors farting! Besides the "man of my dreams" is a fictive thing I do believe... I'll believe in him when Santa brings me Xmas presents!

I went out with my friend Laura last night to a lot of different bars in the area, and I have to say it was tres cool. I had to be to work this morning so I behaved, but I was amazed at how many cool places there are around here. Difficult to find, but still cool. and I love hanging out with Laura- she's a nut. She's real free and real honest even if it hurts. I love that.

So, right now, I'm just being domesticated and reading, and hopefully soon will get back to writing. I've started a couple of outlines for a essay on cyclical life ie. seasons, and an outline for a horror novel. I've been reading Poppy Z Brite as of late, and I have to say she's amazing. Her books really fuck with my head, and I've always loved fiction that makes you shake your head and scream, so... I hope I can do that some day...

Well, it is time for me to get back to my novel and my beer, so I shall see people later.

current mood: content

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Friday, July 8th, 2005
10:34 pm - weeee.....
Isn't this the best song ever? It's Etienne by Tori Amos
Maybe I'm a witch lost in time
running through the fields of Scotland by your side
kicked out of France but I still believe
taken to a land far across the sea

Etienne, Etienne
hear the west wind whisper my name
Etienne, Etienne
by the morning maybe we'll remember who I am

maybe you're the knight who saved my life
maybe we faced the fire side by side
here we are again under the same sky
as the gypsy crystal slowly dies

Oh Etienne, Etienne
hear the west wind whisper my name
Etienne, Etienne
by the morning maybe we'll remember who I am yeah

I close my eyes see you again
I know I've held you but
I can't remember where or when

Oh Etienne, Etienne
hear the west wind whisper my name
Etienne, Etienne
by the morning maybe we'll remember who I am

maybe I'm a witch
Etienne oh whisper my name mmm
whisper my name
Etienne whisper my name
Maybe I'm a witch oh Etienne

In other news I'm in a play. This is going to be a wonderful play. Totally... It's called you can't take it with you, and it won a pulitzer and an oscar back in the 40s. In any case, I play a crazy russian ballet teacher- think boris badinov on crack! Normally, I would have declined this, and I actually tried to, but the director has connections, which may prove useful. it's better than Ohio. much better... now, I just need to find some money, and we'll see where things go.

current mood: okay

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Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
5:01 pm - Rule Brittania, Brittania Rules the Sea...
I'm having a couple of early harps, and boy are they nice! I forgot how good Harp is... *YUM* I saw Gypsy 83 last night. I highly recommend it. It has its cheese here and there, but over all it's the bomb. Other than that... nothing much is up. I need to email my friends, b/c I suck, and I've just forgotten to email people. Anyhoo, I hope everyone is well...

current mood: content

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Friday, June 24th, 2005
8:35 pm - well, this is not how I thought it would be, but still amusing...
Your LJ Funeral by Dooreatoe
Username
Cries the mostfromallsides
Doesn't cry at alleligrrl
Laughs at your funeralgoldterrain
Clings to your coffinkareyanne
Punches your dead bodybetterideas
Necrophiliacunsung_zero
Bakes pot brownieskw34hd1
Secretly wishes you were still alivenander1110
Funeral Attendants50
Amount of times you're raped by the necro38
Chance that your coffin will get dropped: 61%
Quiz created with MemeGen!


current mood: tired

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Sunday, June 19th, 2005
12:01 am - disappointment
sheesh... don't tell anyone if they ask, but I am not moving to Ohio. I am greatly disappointed. I was specifically moving to become involved in a particular group, a most traditional organization... and their former leader is spinning in her grave at how these people behave. I am sickened... I am not at leisure to list their transgressions, but I will say they are most dishonerable. and yeah honor means a lot to me... honor duty truth... call me crazy, but they're important to me. my morality and philosophy have changed over time, and I get more bitchy about stuff like that as I get older. anyhoo...

things are rather quiet here, just the way I like it. oh, I've got a part in a play- I'm Boris in You Can't Take it With You. It's going to be a blast. And we're going to sell out every performance too just like we did last year.

anyhoo... just a little update to let you all know I'm still breathing, Gods be praised. (and I'm serious about that; every day I'm still breathing is a good one.)

oh yeah, Hungry Lucy rocks my socks! btw, who's going with me to see Tori at Meadowbrook?

current mood: mellow

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Friday, June 3rd, 2005
1:09 am - blargh....
allo everyone. nothing major to report from deadborn, just thought I'd update this thing. I need to be up in the morning for a funeral (my grandmother's nephew). It's sad, but the only time I get to see my family is at funerals. It seems that when both grandmas everyone was released from the obligation of hanging out. Which is ok, b/c there are some cousins of mine that I'd love to kick in the jiggly-bits (namely a certain cousin by marraige who acts to be from a social strata he's not from- I believe it stems from my great-grandfather telling people we were royalty in the old country. I have no clue if we were or not- I'm inclined to think not. However, that never never stops a little family neurosis from developing!) In any case, I don't know what I am going to do as usual. I've been invited to move to Ohio, which is up in the air. I want to move there b/c I need to get the hell out of the city, andthere's a kick ass community down there. In Ohio of all places, I know, but it can happen. I've also been invited to be in a play. I'm also thinking about the master gardening progam at MSU (it's only a couple of months long, and I can do it here, so I can get the certification right away. Then I can find a nifty landscaping job.) I've also thought about becoming a mortitian (I'm goth, what can I say?), getting an MBA, and other things as well. I want to go for a PhD, but I don't want to be poor for the rest of my life, and that's one thing acadaemia breeds- abject poverty. I'm sick and tired of not having money. I'm pretty good with money too, but I could use some to build some more. I wish I could get into Oxford, or Harvard or something like that, so that at least I'd have a job guarenteed in the end. But no... they'd take one look at my app and say, ummm... no. There is UM, but, I don't know. That's where the MBA comes in I think. But who knows.

In other exciting news, I think the gardens are almost finished. I just have to finish bonsai'ing the junipers in the front and put down some mulch. I love my gardens. I'll have to take some pics and upload them.

Well, I must go to bed now so I can keep up appearances tomorrow. It's a protestant funeral too... bleh... Anyhoo, hope everyone is well. ttfn...

current mood: sleepy

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Thursday, March 31st, 2005
10:44 pm - weeeeeeeeee!
I got good news upon getting home from work this evening. My dad did not have a heart attack. He apparently had a bad case of angina, and also has a mild fatty liver (so it's ixnay on the oozebay for him). He came home this evening and is resting. I am so relieved. He will have to change much of the way he lives, but I would rather deal w/ Mr. Grumpy b/c he can't drink or eat any fat rather than the alternative. Dad will make one interesting granola type person! I'll have to get him birkenstocks so he can play the part!

I am so relieved.... Go raibh me agat, mo Bhrid.

current mood: relieved

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2:03 pm
Seems like I only update this thing when bad stuff happens. Oh well... I know I have been a recluse the last month especially. I feel bad because I have lost touch with people I care about. It's just one of those things... I don't know. I have more bad news though (although it could be worse)

My dad had a heart attack yesterday. He's in the hospital and he's doing ok. We're waiting for the results to his stress test right now, etc., that goes along with having a heart attack. A lot is going to change because of this. I never thought this would happen, at least not now. I know he's a stress puppy, and he doesn't eat well, but I just didn't think... I think it finally hit me today. I've made myself very busy today, but it's just become very real. We are very lucky though because it could have been much worse. He will most likely make a full recovery, so...

So... I need to get dressed and go to work. I hate working late evening, but it pays so I shouldn't complain. I hope people are well, and I hope I get to chat with my good friends soon.

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Thursday, February 10th, 2005
1:51 pm - lol
penguin



Your Sexual Power Animal is a Penguin!


Choosy, selective, and monogamous.



Not only are you picky when it comes to sex.

You tend to stick with the same partner for a long time

And since you're so picky, it takes a lot to get you

Once you're impressed, then you'll put out



What's Your Sexual Power Animal?

More Great Quizzes from Quiz Diva

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1:35 pm - woo hoo....
well another year has gone by, and I have turned 27. I know, it's time to get out the prune juice and walker! LOL... nothing really of worth to update about, but I have to say I think things are on the up and up. Chuck and I are doing very well. I've really just been reading and stuff... I do hope to get out to the club this weekend- should be a blast. So... I guess that's that... I hope everyone is well...

current mood: content

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Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
8:43 pm - yay...
I was just putzing around and I realized I havn't written on this thing in the last umpteen million years. I try to email all the people who would read it but, hey... Things are quiet, but are pretty well. I've been w/ my man for 6 months now! He's something, let me tell you! Anyhoo, I'm working on getting into grad school, and then the rest is up in the air. I want to move out of deadborn so bad... blah... but it's not all that bad living w/ the rents, just a major lack of privacy! So... Tori's coming out with a new album, which is going to be the bomb! And VNV early this month was amazing! Ronan Harris has the gift of the gab in the worst way! So I think I'll get back to my semi-productive evening on the puter... hope everyone is well.

current mood: happy

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Sunday, December 19th, 2004
6:19 pm
      
dead can dance is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

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Tuesday, December 14th, 2004
3:29 pm - bleh... home sick.... bleh...
I AM 49% EVIL GENIUS!
49% EVIL GENIUS
I want to be evil. I do evil things. But given the opportunity, and a darn good reason I may turn to the good side. Besides I am probably a miserable evil genius.



In other news, VNV Nation is coming to St. Andrew's on 1/5. Who's coming with me?

current mood: sick

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Sunday, August 15th, 2004
5:36 pm - LOL!!!
http://internettrash.com/users/salatrel/hunting.htm

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Saturday, August 7th, 2004
11:22 am - jeeeebus! this is creeptastic!

What do you dream about?
Name/Nickname:
Age:
Zodiac Sign:
Fav. Color Combo:
Your dreams generally include: Forests and wildlife
Approximate number of monthly nightmares: 42
The worst monster you've seen in a dream:
Your dreams are usually crystal clear
Percentage of dreams involving sex - 99%
Will your dreams ever come true? (8) - It is certain. - (8)
This quiz by cutelilangelx - Taken 267554 Times.
</a>
New - Help with love and dating!

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11:15 am - *sigh*
I love The Smiths. They're the bomb!

Ask

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
ASK ME - I WON'T SAY "NO" - HOW COULD I ?

Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you'd like to

So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
ASK ME - I WON'T SAY "NO" - HOW COULD I ?

Spending warm Summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg

ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
That will bring us together

Nature is a language - can't you read ?
Nature is a language - can't you read ?

SO ... ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME

Because if it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb, the Bomb
That will bring us together

If it's not Love
Then it's the Bomb
Then it's the Bomb
That will bring us together

SO ... ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
ASK ME, ASK ME, ASK ME
Oh, la ...

current mood: content

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Wednesday, July 28th, 2004
8:29 pm - everyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You must go to this website and buy one of these! It benefits my friend Heather, who has ovarian cancer. You will love your body!!!!! *that's a must!* http://spinsterdesign.com/bigfatlove

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8:21 pm - These people are the bomb!
http://billionairesforbush.com/index.php

You must go to this web site. It is the best! (I'm going to buy myself the tiara I think...)

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Wednesday, June 30th, 2004
11:18 pm - She's the smartest ever...
In the end everybody wants to get rid of their demons and find inner peace? I don’t want to get rid of my demons. Do you understand me? That’s the difference. You only can find inner peace when you live with your demons. It is even impossible to get rid of them. Jesus wouldn’t have spent 40 days and nights in the desert if he hadn’t demons. Theoretically impossible. That is the lie Christianity makes. That you have to get rid of the Devil and sin. My God, then you give away all your powers! I’m just like Faust, baby, just take a seat. When you’re gonna dig in your shadow patterns, you find a part of yourself you could call the Wicked Mother or the Evil Queen. Well just talk to her. Make a deal with her. Cause she’s part of your life. People who think they’ve gotten rid of their demons are gonna do crazy things for compensation. They’re gonna do weird, kinky sex games. Sniffing the underwear of little girls. And those guys think they’re rid of their demons. No! You have to dance with your demons, raise them. When you get to know your demons you grow as a person. I’m beginning to know mine... [Oor (Dutch) - September 18, 1999]- Tori Amos taken from http://www.yessaid.com/frames.html

current mood: contemplative

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